Adopt and donate food at the Mandaluyong Animal Shelter. The dogs are starving there.

I just saw a post from Help MAS. The local government has not being feeding or taking care of the dogs in the shelter. If you have the heart to help, donate dog food or adopt if you have room for a dog at home. The dogs there aren't being fed. Help MAS does not accept cash donations. Please give sacks or dog food. Whichever you can provide. Like Help MAS on Facebook and you'll see the conditions the dogs at the Mandaluyong Animal Shelter are. I'm considering fast-tracking my plans to adopt a dog or two. All they need is food.

Doubts and Needing Love

Tonight, I find myself lonely and doubtful. Should I get another shelter dog, if I have the money, only to endure the blame and the pain, should he/she pass away early? Or should I buy a purebred? At least I would be spared the blame should a tragedy occurs. I'm also thinking of cutting down my time on my advocacies for myself. I should be more selfish, I feel. I just wish Cisca was still alive today. Maybe I'd forget all these pain within me. I feel like I'm regressing and relapsing again. This has been a cruel year for me. I wish to be spared more of the heartbreak. I just want to be loved again.

A Prayer for those who have lost in the wake of Typhoon Haiyan

Our country, the Philippines was rocked hard by the strongest storm ever recorded in history. Many lives were lost. The estimate is about 10,000 People perished. If you have the heart to help, donate at UNICEF and other international organizations who will be operating in the area. We're quite safe in Manila, but imaging the suffering of the survivors and those who have lost loved ones. Please pray for our brothers and sisters in the Visayas, especially in Tacloban City

Life After Cisca

Accepting Cisca's departure from my life has been hard. Each time anything reminds me of her, a part of me gets heart broken. The loneliness of life without her has been tremendous. At times I still find myself blaming me for what I could've missed out. I find it hard to think of myself adopting or fostering another dog. Sometime I think of buying from a breeder instead of adopting again, afraid of being blamed by the welfare society of neglecting my dog, or letting people down. I also worry that what happened to Cisca may repeat itself, even though there were nothing hazardous at home and I was 100% responsible and attentive to her needs.

I was at the Mandaluyong Animal Shelter again this morning to afternoon. I kept looking at the dogs which needed a forever home. I kept asking myself: Do I have enough to take care of one? Will my finances permit, after losing so much money on Cisca's medical bills? There is an emptiness within me, wanting to have a dog into my life again.

I often debate within myself at the option of buying from a breeder. Do I get a Jack Russell like Cisca or a Golden Retriever puppy, one that I've fantasized for a long time. Do I have the energy and time to have a needy and energetic dog like Cisca? Or should I opt for the quiet and affectionate one?

I keep thinking and wishing I still had Cisca. Maybe everything happens for a reason? Cisca healed me and brought me closer to God. I've been meeting people getting me to believe in God again and rekindled a friendship with someone who gives me wise words about faith. I just trust that God will let me find puppy love again, this time to last a doggy life time.

Saying goodbye to Cisca (and a sabbatical from the Cisca Chronicles)

I watched in pain and defeat as the most precious being to come to my life struggled breathing, to get to her feet and kept wheezing. Cisca may pass away while I sleep tonight. Only a miracle from God will bring a happy ending in our lives. In our short time together, she pulled me out of the madness of Schizo-Affective Disorder (a very debilitating and painful illness with aspects of both Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder). She loved me like no one did. I never felt loved or had loved anyone else but her. I remember her tending to my pains and anguish with her yelps, barks and play bites. She had a way of getting me through those dark moments in my life.

Each day was like an adventure with her. I'd wake up early to give her medicines, walk her frequently, play with her outside or in our room, with her doggie bed. She always wanted to explore. It was as if everything was new to her. She made lots of people adore her (and in a way they adored me). I was overly concerned for her fur and skin. Even her appetite was a problem. She was a very picky eater.

I have no regrets in adopting Cisca over buying a male Golden Retriever puppy (my dream pet). I wanted to save and love someone. I wanted her to have the best that the world could offer. I did that and more. I honestly kept her from harmful and toxic things. I Kept watch of her every day. I think I spent only 6 to 7 hours to myself, including sleep.

I'll be away for a while. This may or may not be the last of the Cisca Chronicles. I'll know it was worth it, giving everything to someone without asking anything back and she gave more than what I needed. I love my Ishbu. We'll see each other in heaven with Cassandra, Laika and Rover.

Volunteering at the Mandaluyong Animal Shelter. Adopt a dog there!

Trying to divert my attention and do something constructive, I decided to volunteer at the Mandaluyong Animal Shelter this afternoon. I had learned of its weekend volunteer program a few days ago. I wanted to do something extra for doggie kind and society. The head of its operations Li-An is doing an admirable job, despite the few resources offered to her, unlike the big welfare societies in the Philippines. Keeping stray dogs off the streets to save them from being turned into someone's beer snack or preventing them from situations where they would attack vulnerable humans is a must in this imperfect world.

There were so many dog I saw, in need of a better place and lots of love to calm them in stressful situations. I hope someone else would have the heart to adopt these dogs. If Cisca's situation gets better and once I have the financial sources, I plan to adopt a small friendly dog for Cisca to play with. She needs a companion more than ever to divert her attention from me whenever I have to be somewhere else. It's an option I'm considering.

This makes me think of the irresponsible breeders and puppy mills running in our country and in the US. I remember seeing a lovely Golden Retriever puppy stuck in a glass cage for most of the day in the malls. I can say the same thing for pet stores in  popular markets across the city, where profit over affection has won over. It also opened my eyes to the necessity of spay and neuter responsibility of dog owners to minimize strays from the streets. During my time at MAS, a man was asking how much the dogs in the cage were for eating. It was worsened by the fact that he had a dog with him. There is indeed evil in this world.

These dogs need your attention and parenting. Left all alone but with each other, some lose hope and soon become jaded of human affection. The reason dogs evolved from Wolves was because of human care and partnership. I think we're evolving into a more sinister species. I'll return tomorrow and during other weekends depending on Cisca's condition. I pray I can financially handle Cisca's medical and overall needs and have some left over for a playmate. Search them at facebook: Help Mandaluyong Animal Shelter. Every action you give saves multitudes of lives of these strays.

The day ended like a storybook. A stray puppy, who had been rescued only a day ago, found his forever home, by Mary Grace Domingo, a first time volunteer who had lost her dog only days ago. She had named him Thor due to his noblity and kindness in the face of a depressing situation. Here's to having more dogs adopted at MAS!

Preparing for Cisca's last return

As a parent, one of the worst things to experience is to learn that your child is dying. With pets, its a given, we outlast them 10 years to One approximately. But when it happens sudden and unexpected, as if she's being taken from you during her childhood years, that's when it becomes tragic.

Cisca seems to be on her final days. Her kidney problems which may have developed over the years and due to old age, may be catching up with her. I'd just like to make her final days as happy as it can be for her. I've never loved someone in my entire life and no one has touched my life and made that much of an impact on that short time than her.

They say love is letting go and letting things be. This may be the most bitter of loves I've ever had. I wuv my Ishbu.

Get updated on The Cisca Chronicles on Twitter!

I made a twitter account for me, Cisca and wherever my dog loving adventures send me. Follow me at: https://twitter.com/CiscaChronicles.

Cisca's finally eating.

I was so worried about my little Ishbu a while ago. I wondered how she was, almost alone in the climnic. I called the clinic and spoke to an assistant (the vets were out for the holiday). I was elated to hear that Cisca ate a little. Things are getting better. I miss you, old girl!