I watched in pain and defeat as the most precious being to come to my life struggled breathing, to get to her feet and kept wheezing. Cisca may pass away while I sleep tonight. Only a miracle from God will bring a happy ending in our lives. In our short time together, she pulled me out of the madness of Schizo-Affective Disorder (a very debilitating and painful illness with aspects of both Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder). She loved me like no one did. I never felt loved or had loved anyone else but her. I remember her tending to my pains and anguish with her yelps, barks and play bites. She had a way of getting me through those dark moments in my life.
Each day was like an adventure with her. I'd wake up early to give her medicines, walk her frequently, play with her outside or in our room, with her doggie bed. She always wanted to explore. It was as if everything was new to her. She made lots of people adore her (and in a way they adored me). I was overly concerned for her fur and skin. Even her appetite was a problem. She was a very picky eater.
I have no regrets in adopting Cisca over buying a male Golden Retriever puppy (my dream pet). I wanted to save and love someone. I wanted her to have the best that the world could offer. I did that and more. I honestly kept her from harmful and toxic things. I Kept watch of her every day. I think I spent only 6 to 7 hours to myself, including sleep.
I'll be away for a while. This may or may not be the last of the Cisca Chronicles. I'll know it was worth it, giving everything to someone without asking anything back and she gave more than what I needed. I love my Ishbu. We'll see each other in heaven with Cassandra, Laika and Rover.
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