Months ago, my sister bought a copy of a book written by Eckhart Tolle and drawn by Patrick McDonnel (Mutts). I was so emotionally and spiritually shattered then. I tried to read the book in a cafe, hoping a pretty girl would notice. I didn't have enough cash for a frappe, so I bought mineral water instead. I started reading the book assuming later on, some pretty face would notice, but instead the eloquence of Eckhart Tolle's words caught me. I lost my fears for a period of time and became confident. The book was titled The Guardians of Being. It's about the role dogs and cats play in protecting the inner being of their owners. Of course my fears returned, because all I had was the words.
I dreamed of having a dog again. A Golden Retriever like my last dog, Cassandra. I had decided to get a male puppy and name him Buddy. Eventually, my interests turned to other breeds like the Shiba Inu and the Siberian Husky. I was only thinking of what would make me happy, momentarily at most.
When I got Cisca, I thought she'd be a big burden to me, my budget and my dating plans. You know sometimes to feel good, you have to put the needs of others ahead of you. Cisca is a very needy dog. Her physical vulnerability and her emotional wants are things I make a priority. In caring for her, I forget my problems. Whenever I'm in a state of painful reverie, due to my illness, she pulls me back to reality by telling me, "I need you, stop thinking". And she knows how to love back. She more than loves unconditionally, but also passionately. She never displays this to anyone else but me. I think sh views me more than her master, but her mate, as a replacement to her former love, Pancho. I feel that my years long prayers of being saved from my pain are being answered. I've found the guardian of my being.
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